


something like fire

by bubblesandburdensfics



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Shadowgast, ft me making up spells for essek, i guess this is ep 100 speculation, spoilers up to ep 99, the dragon turtle fight!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblesandburdensfics/pseuds/bubblesandburdensfics
Summary: When Essek gets a worrying message from Jester, he doesn't think. He just acts.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 4
Kudos: 183





	something like fire

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to the ETFC for making me feel things. This was the result.

Essek has been called many things before. Calculating. Cruel. Cold. In fact, he has been called that last one, _cold_ , so many times that he was starting to believe it himself. That there wasn’t anything beneath his ribcage but empty space.

It was easier to believe that, he realizes. Easier to keep everybody at a distance, to pursue his own agenda in the face of absolute solitude. Because knowing the truth, that he cares and loves and feels as much as anybody else, is painful. Especially now, as his fingers shake casting his teleportation spell.

Jester’s words reverberate in his brain, over and over and over and over. _Help help help help_.

When has the Mighty Nein ever needed his help? Not when they walked into the Bright Queen’s domain, Caleb proudly holding the beacon with the confidence of one of the nobles he works so hard to avoid. Not when they saved their friend, Yasha, not when they convinced whatever terrible creature it was to free Veth. The rides don’t count. Not when he began to offer them freely. Not when the eventual decline hurt.

Still, it is a relief, because if they are calling on him now it means they forgive him. At least a little. It means they are willing to see him again after everything he’s done. It means there’s hope, however small.

His vision explodes as he steps into the circle. And then he is standing on the familiar deck of The Balleater, legs shaking beneath him because—because there’s something beneath them. Not something, but a giant dragon turtle that at first glances makes Essek choke on a breath.

“Essek!” He swerves towards Jester’s scream, running before he realizes he is running, towards what he is uncertain. He doesn’t realize his feet have hit the deck, touched the deck, until he is standing among them, his friends, and he is shorter than Caleb.

He’s shorter than Caleb.

“What’s wrong?”

“Orly—“

“Who is Orly?”

“One of our crew.” The words rush out of Caleb’s mouth with efficient urgency. “He is injured and trapped.”

“Trapped where?”

“There.” Jester points to the crow’s nest. There, Essek can see a large body. “We can’t get to him.”

“Why?”

“The rope ladder was torn.” Indeed, the robes that hung from the crow’s nest to the deck are slashed, one half fallen to the wood. “We can heal him, but only if we can get to him.”

“We figured…” Beau crosses her arms, looking at him from the corner of her eye. “Because you float.”

It is only the fear, the subsiding adrenaline that keeps him from groaning. “I can get you up there.”

“Thank you.” Caleb reaches over and grasps his forearm. Essek is struck by the last time he did this, so long ago. When Essek flinched away. Today, he has to keep himself from leaning into the contact.

“Of course.” He gives a half-hearted grin. Everyone but Jester and Caleb are drifting away, calling out to each other and resuming the battle against the beast. “Anything for friends, yes?”

The boat jerks as something crashes into the wood below. Essek falls to his knees as the ground rocks, surrounding waves threatening to crash aboard. He runs a hand through his now-disheveled hair, biting back a curse, and looks up to Caleb a hair’s breadth away.

“Thank you,” the other man breathes, and Essek is unsure if he’ll be able to help them after all, if Caleb keeps looking at him like _that_. “You don’t have to do this.”

“No,” Essek says, sure like he has never been sure in his entire life. “I do.” Grabbing Caleb by the neck, Essek kisses him.

It is a devouring kiss. It is a kiss he could drown in. That is the thought that shakes Essek out of his reverie a second after his lips first brushes Caleb’s, because if he doesn’t get up _right now_ and help them they could very well drown. Reluctantly, Essek pulls away. Caleb’s eyes are pinned to him.

“Later,” Caleb says, dazed. “After this has subsided, we are going to have to repeat that.”

“I could not agree more.” Essek stands. “Jester?”

“Right here.” Jester loops her arm in his as he mutters some words in Undercommon.

As they make the jump, flying through the air, Essek feels something in his chest. Something like flame. Something like fire.


End file.
